Silloin
Jeesus sanoi opetuslapsillensa: "Jos joku tahtoo minun perässäni
kulkea, hän kieltäköön itsensä ja ottakoon ristinsä ja seuratkoon minua.
Sillä joka tahtoo pelastaa elämänsä, hän kadottaa sen, mutta joka
kadottaa elämänsä minun tähteni, hän löytää sen."
Matt. 16:24-25 KR33/38
Jeesus sanoi opetuslapsilleen: "Jos joku tahtoo kulkea minun
jäljessäni, hän kieltäköön itsensä, ottakoon ristinsä ja seuratkoon
minua. Sillä se, joka tahtoo pelastaa elämänsä, kadottaa sen, mutta joka elämänsä minun tähteni kadottaa, on sen löytävä.
Matt. 16:24-25 KR92
Rakas Jumala, tahdon ottaa ristini ja seurata sinua, näytä minulle tie. Anna minulle voimaa kantaa ristiäni ja anna minulle viisautta seurata sinua. Anna minun joka päivä nostaa katseeni sinuun ja seurata sinua niin etten ikinä eksyisi sinusta. Anna minun kadottaa elämäni sinun puolestasi jotta saisin sen itselleni.
It talked to my heart as a mother. It made me think about being a mother. It made me think about my son, our relationship, our relationship with God. And what all this means. At once I felt I had to answer her.
Mikael at Cotopaxi volcan. He loves the snow and Cotopaxi is one of the few places in Ecuador where you can find it.
Just few days ago I was looking at pictures of my son when he was little. He's 9 years old now, a big boy. And I missed that little boy who would come to sit on my lap and I could pick up and carry on my arms. I miss him so much.
I have my son still but the relationship changes all the time. And I don't want to miss the important moments. Like yesterday watching a movie together while we ate pizza. Or reading him when he goes to bed.
Just few days ago he sighed while he was laying in the bed, hugged me and told me that he's so glad I'm there for him all the time.
Mikael as a baby with my deceaced little brother Juhana.
I felt a strange mixed sensation. I know I try to be there but there are so many moments I feel guilty that I spend with the computer or at work and I'm not there for him.
I struggle with this daily. I try to find moments to show that all my attention is to him. To teach him about God and God's love, by showing him my love, mirroring the love God has with the love I have for him.
And when he talks about his love for God, how he will never forget or deny God, it makes me feel so proud of him. And scared. Because I know how hard the world can be.
Mikael with Jenna, a very dear nanny he had for a almost a year from Finland.
I find Susan's honesty encouraging and I respect her, as a mother and a person, even more because of it.
There are moments when my son asks me something while I'm on the computer and I answer something half intelligible. Sometimes he repeats what he's saying, sometimes he waits, other times he just gives up. And it breaks my heart when I think about it later on.
There are times when my son gets angry and says: You only care about the computer. Why don't you spend time with ME?
I think it's excelent that he can express his worries and anger. But it still breaks my heart.
Mikael at Quito Zoo.
But it also makes me a better mother because it makes me think about my choices and he challenges me to put him first and everything else I do second.
Mikael and Barney at Carolina park in Quito.
The good thing is that I have had some opportunities to take him with me to my work. We have visited indigenous communities, he has seen how the people there live, the schools they go to. And I think it will help him to see the world in quite a different way.
But it still broke my heart when he told me that he had thought that I didn't really work but only spend time on the computer. I guess since my office is at home, that is what he sees. His mother at the computer, just spending time when she could be with him.
A heartbreaking situation that many mothers must face today.
My answer to it.
Stop working when he talks to me. I know, it kills the flow. It takes ages to remember what I was doing and find the thread of thought I was following. But it also shows that I care, that I put him on the first spot.
Write when he's at school, asleep, with his friends, find moments when he isn't around to write. And when I have to write, when the work absolutely takes me away from him, explain it to him. He is big, he's nine years old, he understands a lot of things.
Mikael riding with his cousin in Finland.
And like I said before, make him part of the work. Show him what I do. Make him understand why it is so important to me.
I must tell these things have improved our relationship inmensely. But there is still a lot to do. And I still keep praying and seeking God to give me understanding how to show more love to my son. How to show God's love and care to my son.
"Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built."
Herra
siunatkoon sinua ja varjelkoon sinua; Herra valistakoon kasvonsa
sinulle ja olkoon sinulle armollinen; Herra kääntäköön kasvonsa sinun
puoleesi ja antakoon sinulle rauhan.
4. Moos. 6:24-26 KR33/38
-- Herra siunatkoon sinua ja varjelkoon sinua,
Herra kirkastakoon sinulle kasvonsa ja olkoon sinulle armollinen.
Herra kääntäköön kasvonsa sinun puoleesi ja antakoon sinulle rauhan.
4. Moos. 6:24-26 KR92
Elämää Jumalan siunausten ja rakkauden ympäröimänä!
I had to accept my marriage was dead and my husband had been cheating me
for some time already.
Then in July he had a son with another woman and I had
to explain it to our son.
A very dear friend I made through Facebook, and had known for years,
died during this year.
I have been struggling at work. I have had to admit that I cannot do
everything and I do not know everything.
I have had difficulties in my relationship with my son. It has been very
hard for him to accept that we do not live anymore with his father.
The year has been impossible.
Still I must say: This year has been amazing.
I have felt a grace and joy that I have never had before. A peace in my
heart that has been there and is just unmovable.
I have been held at God's arms, safe and protected.
I have been so blessed, with so many things, that this year has become
one of my favorites.
The year when I first learned how much God loves me.
The year when I learned to let loose and let God take care of
everything.
So, when I look back. What has been the best about this year?
1. God
Like I said, God has been amazing. I have felt Him with me, all the
time, everywhere. It has been a real privilege to have all the love and
attention from God. To be able to trust and rest, among everything that has
happened has been a lesson I love dearly.
2. Prayer and praise
During this year I have found myself humming praise and exaltation to
God. Singing old songs from my youth I thought I already had forgotten. Finding
new ones online and searching ways to exalt Him even more. I have prayed and I
have been answered.
3. Bible
I have always wanted to read more Bible. There just has never been time
to do it. Or so it has seemed. This year I have prayed for God to show me ways
that will make me want to read the Bible. And He has given them to me. Now I
have my iPod with Finnish and English translations of Bible. I have different reading
programs and devotionals I go through and it has really made the difference.
The funny thing is that there was a time I only had one Bible in Finnish
here. I had another one in Spanish and yet another one in English. But the
meaning comes to me through Finnish. That is how I feel verses really speak to
me.
So, I prayed for a Bible and in two years I have gotten four more Bibles
in Finnish. And besides that I now have the different Bibles I have downloaded
in my iPod. God is quite amazing.
4. Congregation
It is hard to find unity in Christ with other believers when you’re
abroad. I work for a church and the Finnish Free Evengelical Church has a
sister church here, IPEE (or Ecuadorian Evangelical Covenant Church) who are our
collaborators here.
But there is no IPEE congregation in Tena or nearby.
I have finally found, after praying hard for it, an independent church I
feel comfortable with. I don’t agree with all their teaching or pastor’s theology.
But it is close enough to be comfortable.
This is still a struggle for me because I would really like to find a
church I could call home and be part of. I want to find a place where I could use
my talents to build His Kingdom.
But I feel God has something prepared for me and meanwhile I can trust
Him to take care of everything. And just rest in Him.
5. Blog
Instead of the tangible congregation I have found a community of
bloggers and a communion of believers. The interaction with other Christians
have been like drinking from a clean, fresh fountain after so much tainted and
lukewarm water I’ve had to imbibe.
Writing my own blog has also been an opportunity to arrange my thoughts
and be productive. Start to build that Kingdom I envision. A vision, I hope,
God has given me.
Phillip Cary, in his
book Good News for Anxious Christians: Ten Practical Things You Don't Have
to Do, says: “Every time we
turn to Christ in faith it is like a moment of Sabbath, a little foretaste of
eternal rest and glory. The gift of that moment lies not in what we do but what
we receive. It is the holy time set aside to receive the greatest gift of God
ever has to give, which is himself, in his own beloved Son.”
What does this mean to the people today? For me personally. Today people want to be connected 24/7.
I find myself waking up and checking out what is happening in Google+,
Facebook and in my blog.
Since I am ex-pat, living abroad, far away from most of my family and
friends, this is the easiest, and sometimes only, way to keep in contact with
the people I miss.
Besides my family and friends, I have met new people and made new
friendships online. Many of these friendships are very meaningful and the
people are real for me. We share our lives and we share our faith, we encourage
each other and let each other know that we are facing similar challenges in our
lives and faith.
There is a lot of talk about this phenomenon. People don’t exactly know
how to deal with it. Many people talk about their “real-life” and “virtual”
friends. Others say that people online are as real as the ones we meet
elsewhere.
In churches there is talk about online services, online evangelism,
online preaching and reaching out online to win more souls.
I want to think myself to be part of this.
All this seems good but still, people worry.
Is it OK to use internet on Sabbath? Should we do it as Christians or
should we keep ourselves away from the computer as part of the Sabbath rest?
Will the computer only keep us busy and not allow the use of internet as a way
to sanctify the day?
Mark Buchanan says in his book The Holy Wild: Trusting in the
Character of God: “Most of the things we need to be most fully
alive never come in busyness. They grow in rest.”
There are people that feel this means we should not be online, we should
turn off our cellphones and disconnect from the world.
I feel that we should not make rules and regulations. After all, like Jesus says in Mark: And he said
to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. (Mark 2:27)
It would be easy to say, "Don't use computer on Sunday!" "Turn off your cellphone during the Sunday!".
Rules are easy to make and easy to break.
But life isn't easy. What if someone uses the phone or computer to read Bible? What if they use it to listen to the Gospel and Christian music?
So, using the computer or phone to do "Christian things" is OK.
But shouldn't everything be then just Christian on Sunday?Does that mean watching movies on Sunday is a sin? Or going out with your family?
Here comes the difficulty of the rules.
Maybe we should explore further what Sabbath means in the Bible. Why it was given to people.
In Ezekiel we can find that the Sabbath is a sign of covenant between the man and God. God tells the prophet: Also I gave them my Sabbaths as a sign between us,
so they would know that I the Lord
made them holy. (Ezekiel 20:12)
I think it is very important today to remember the Sabbath day by
keeping it holy. But there are different ways to keep Sabbath holy. As Emily
Dickinson said: “Some keep the Sabbath going to church, I keep it staying at
home, with a bobolink for a chorister, and an orchard for a dome. ”
This is the first part of three part consideration on what is the Sabbath. In the next part I will concentrate on the reason why God Himself celebrated Sabbath and gave it to men.
“Across the will of Nature
Leads on the path of God;
Not where the flesh delighteth
The feet of Jesus trod.
O bliss to leave behind us
The fetters of the slave,
To leave ourselves behind us,
The graveclothes and the grave.
We follow in His footsteps;
What if our feet be torn?
Where He has marked the pathway
All hail the briar and the thorn!
Scarce seen, scarce be heard, unreckoned,
Despised, defamed, unknown
Or heard but by our singing,
On, children, ever on!”
Music makes a very strong impact on us. It can change or create moods, make us feel things, cause happiness, sadness or even terror in people listening to it.
In Western cultures, with long tradition of Christianity, there is a special style of Christmas music. A style profoundly impacted by Christian Church music. But this style isn't the same for each country.
When I first came to Ecuador one of the reasons the Christmas was such a hard time for me was the difference in Christmas music. Finnish Christmas music, like most Finnish music, is usully played in minor key with a very slow rhytm. While Ecuadorian music, just as almost all Latin American music, is played in major key with a very fast rhytm.
There are additional differences that made Ecuadorian Christmas music impossible for me. I just couldn't recognize it as Christmas music. It didn't make me feel Christmas.
I took refuge in English Christmas music, and by this I mean, music from England. Later on I developed a gusto for American, more modern, Christmas music. And now there are even some classics of Latin American Christmas music that I enjoy.
Here is a list of my Essential Christmas Music.
Now:
1. Handel "The Messiah"
I just can't feel the Christmas without The Messiah. This version of The Choir of King's Collage from Cambridge is especially dear to me. When I hear the first sounds, I instantly know it's Christmas. Jesus, Our Saviour, has been born. And with the Halleluyah choir I am transformed, imagining myself a peek of Heaven.
2. Angels We Have Heard On High
This was one of the songs I sang every Christmas in the High School and Church's choir. It really helped me to accept the Christmas in Ecuador to be able to listen to something that was so familiar and traditional for me. Even though I was used to sing it in Finnish.
3. What Child Is This (Greensleeves)
Another of my favorites from childhood. This one I learned to love in English. It wasn't part of our traditional family Christmas but it was something I was already familiar with, so I was able to accept it as part of my new Christmas. And Charlotte Church's voice just makes it seem angelical.
4. Breath of Heaven
One of the very few Christmas CD's we could find here was one by Amy Grant. I have always loved her music, just like my mother, and it was a touch of home to listen to her voice. This song wasn't on the CD but I have learned to love it. It makes me imagine what Maria must have felt, knowing that she will give birth to the Saviour.
5. The First Noel
This is one of the Christmas Carols I adopted to my new Christmas. Now there is a large amount of songs that bring me the Christmas feeling. But each one of them has a history. There has been a process to incorporate the sound and the message to make it part of my Christmas.
The message in this song makes it a very important part of my Essential Christmas Music.
Then:
1. Sylvian Joululaulu
A very traditional Finnish Christmas song written more than one hundred years ago. It was done by a Finnish poet who was in Italy during Christmas time. The song's name is "Christmas Carol for Sylvia", nobody knows who Sylvia is.
The song tells about the authors yearning for Finnish Christmas and about the suffering of a caged nightingale. (Yes, I told you. Finnish Christmas songs are in minor key and usually very sad and about the suffering world. That's just how Finnish people are.) I always imagined the caged bird to be Sylvia when I was a child and it gave me chills to imagine how she must have suffered even if it was Christmas time. (Yes, I am very Finnish.)
I have listened this song since I was born and it is one of the first Christmas songs Finnish Children learn to sing. At school we are told about the history of the song.
So, when I came to Ecuador, this became my Nr. 1 Christmas song. The Finn, suffering far away, missing the real Finnish Christmas and feeling the suffering of the world through the lights and merryment of Christmas. Yes, very Finnish.
2. En Etsi Valtaa Loistoa
Another Finnish Christmas song by the same author (he is very popular in Finland). The music is by Jean Sibelius and it is one of the most beautiful Finnish Christmas songs, especially in choir version.
The name means "I don't seek for power nor splendor" and the song goes on to say neither do I wish for gold but I seek for the light of Heaven and peace upon earth.
This is a song I always sung in the church in the Christmas service. It makes me yearn for home, the real home of Heaven. Even when I was a child this song would make me realize that Christmas wasn't about the gifts and the glitter but about Jesus, and seeking His grace.
Still learning:
1. Ya viene el niñito (The child comes now)
A very traditional Ecuadorian Christmas Carol, or Villancico as it is said here. The author is very famous Ecuadorian poet and the song was written over a hundred years ago.
The songs tells about baby Jesus and how he comes playing among the flowers and the birds sing to Him. As you can listen the rhythm and style is totally different from Finnish Christmas Carols.
2. Mi burrito sabanero (My donkey from the plains)
A very traditional Latin American Christmas Carol in a little more modern version sung by Juanes from Colombia.
The song tells about the donkey that goes to see Jesus with the other animals. This is actually one of my favorites and it is sung every Christmas by children all over Ecuador.
3. Cha`ska Ñawi Niñucha Villancico Cusqueño, Perú (A Child With Star Bright Eyes)
This is Peruvian Christmas Carol in Peruvian Quechua. The language is different from Ecuadorian Kichwa but it is based on the same Incan Lingua Franca. The music style is very similar with Ecuadorian traditional Andean music. Very different from my traditional pietist, quiet and solemn Christmas. But very typical for Andean Region of South America.
If you enjoyed this article about Essential Christmas Musica maybe you'll also enjoy another one about Essential Christmas.
