This year has been full of ups and downs.
At the beginning of the year I was very scared.
I had to accept my marriage was dead and my husband had been cheating me for some time already.
Then in July he had a son with another woman and I had to explain it to our son.
A very dear friend I made through Facebook, and had known for years, died during this year.
I have been struggling at work. I have had to admit that I cannot do everything and I do not know everything.
I have had difficulties in my relationship with my son. It has been very hard for him to accept that we do not live anymore with his father.
The year has been impossible.
Still I must say: This year has been amazing.
I have felt a grace and joy that I have never had before. A peace in my heart that has been there and is just unmovable.
I have been held at God's arms, safe and protected.
I have been so blessed, with so many things, that this year has become one of my favorites.
The year when I first learned how much God loves me.
The year when I learned to let loose and let God take care of everything.
So, when I look back. What has been the best about this year?
Like I said, God has been amazing. I have felt Him with me, all the time, everywhere. It has been a real privilege to have all the love and attention from God. To be able to trust and rest, among everything that has happened has been a lesson I love dearly.
2. Prayer and praise
During this year I have found myself humming praise and exaltation to God. Singing old songs from my youth I thought I already had forgotten. Finding new ones online and searching ways to exalt Him even more. I have prayed and I have been answered.
I have always wanted to read more Bible. There just has never been time to do it. Or so it has seemed. This year I have prayed for God to show me ways that will make me want to read the Bible. And He has given them to me. Now I have my iPod with Finnish and English translations of Bible. I have different reading programs and devotionals I go through and it has really made the difference.
The funny thing is that there was a time I only had one Bible in Finnish here. I had another one in Spanish and yet another one in English. But the meaning comes to me through Finnish. That is how I feel verses really speak to me.
So, I prayed for a Bible and in two years I have gotten four more Bibles in Finnish. And besides that I now have the different Bibles I have downloaded in my iPod. God is quite amazing.
It is hard to find unity in Christ with other believers when you’re abroad. I work for a church and the Finnish Free Evengelical Church has a sister church here, IPEE (or Ecuadorian Evangelical Covenant Church) who are our collaborators here.
But there is no IPEE congregation in Tena or nearby.
I have finally found, after praying hard for it, an independent church I feel comfortable with. I don’t agree with all their teaching or pastor’s theology. But it is close enough to be comfortable.
This is still a struggle for me because I would really like to find a church I could call home and be part of. I want to find a place where I could use my talents to build His Kingdom.
But I feel God has something prepared for me and meanwhile I can trust Him to take care of everything. And just rest in Him.
Instead of the tangible congregation I have found a community of bloggers and a communion of believers. The interaction with other Christians have been like drinking from a clean, fresh fountain after so much tainted and lukewarm water I’ve had to imbibe.
Writing my own blog has also been an opportunity to arrange my thoughts and be productive. Start to build that Kingdom I envision. A vision, I hope, God has given me.