Feed and nourish your soul with high notions of God

I have been reading The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence.

He was a catholic Lay Brother among the barefooted Carmelites at Paris in the 17th century.

The book consists of letters he wrote and conversations he had with M. Beaufort, Grand Vicar to M. de Chalons, formerly Cardinal de Noailles.

Psalm 23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

I heard about Brother Lawrence three years ago, when a friend of mine was reading this same book.

She was very impressed with his idea of constant prayer and conversation with God.

I felt inspired by it also, and when I finally was able to buy the book, I was very excited.

I feel that God has given me an urge to commune with Him, a need for prayer and His word.
 

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

And I find this wonderful; it is what I have been praying for.

At the same time I feel afraid, because I have learned that everything has two sides.

This year’s word for me, what I felt that God gave to my heart, is joyful.

This is a joyful year, a year that will fill my heart with joy.

You who love the LORD, hate evil. He preserves the souls of his holy ones. He delivers them out of the hand of the wicked. Psalm 97:10

But it will be a year filled with sorrow also, with fear and trepidation, with desperation.

Because how could I feel joy in the Lord if there would be anything else left for me in the world.

Brother Lawrence writes that "we should establish ourselves in a sense of GOD'S Presence, by continually conversing with Him".

If we will not learn to eat the only food that the universe grows... then we must starve eternally. C. S. Lewis - The Problem of Pain

Am I really able to quiet my thoughts and talk with God, even when my heart is in turmoil and my mind is upside down?

When I feel betrayed by a friend I trusted?

Can I really trust God, even when I know that the people aren't trustworthy?

"We should feed and nourish our souls with high notions of GOD; which should yield us great joy in being devoted to Him", says Brother Lawrence.

Let not your heart be troubled: ye belive in God, believe also in me. John 14:1

People fail, the world isn't perfect, even the people you loved and trusted and believed to return your feelings, can and will hurt you.

But I must fill my soul with high notions of God, with His perfection, because this will bring me joy, this will make my life joyful.

According to Brother Lawrence "we ought to quicken, i.e., to enliven, our faith", and I believe it.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

If I just concentrate on God's majesty, His beautiful presence and His loving grace, I will understand that all the earth and all the people live under sin.

We are all imperfect; I should not demand from others what I cannot do myself.

I cannot make myself sinless, I cannot make myself truthful and trustworthy, I cannot even make myself to do what I know is good for myself.

I will bow down toward your holy temple, and give thanks to your Name for your loving kindness and for your truth: for you have exalted your Name and your Word above all. Psalm 138:2

So, how can I expect it from others?

How can I demand them to do what is impossible for me?

And then reprimand them for not living up to my high standards, standards that I fail every day.

"We ought to give ourselves up to GOD, with regard both to things temporal and spiritual, and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will, whether he lead us by suffering or by consolation, for all would lie equal to a soul truly resigned" teaches Brother Lawrence.

We poison the wine as He decants it into us; murder a melody He would play with us as the instrument... Hence all sin, whatever else it is, is sacriledge. C. S. Lewis in Letters to Malcolm

It is good to give, because we clutter our lives and souls with so much unnecessary.

It is good to give up, because we hang on to things that are damaging to us and when we let go, we set ourselves free.

It is good to forgive, because that way we can forgive ourselves and finally be free from the chain of regrets and remorse.

It is good to suffer, because then you will learn what really matters and Who really matters.

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Christian Fellowship Friday

Prayer of Francis of Assisi

“Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”

― St. Francis of Assisi

Let my prayer come before thee

I have always found praying difficult.

And at the same time I need it, I want it, I even crave for it.

The feeling of finding the presence of God, of being there with Him, of baring myself to Him.

So, why is it so difficult?

Psalms 88:2 - “Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry.”

When I am praying I become the ADHD child from the jokes around the internet.

Dear God, I think I'm hungry, no I mean, Dear God, here I am before you, and I'm itching.

No, let's do it again.

Dear God, I come before you in silence, what is that noise?

NO!!!!

Nahum 1:7 - “The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and He knoweth them that trust in Him.”

Brother Lawrence says in the book The Practice of the Presence of God: Conversations and Letter of Brother Lawrence "That we should establish ourselves in a sense of GOD'S Presence, by continually conversing with Him".

When I first heard about the life as a prayer, I thought it was the most wonderful thing.

I started to pray that God would make my life a constant prayer to Him.

That in every moment I would be talking to Him.

No matter what I was doing, I would do it to Him, as a gift or a sacrifice.

“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them” - Elisabeth Elliot

It has been a rough road sometimes, but at the same time it has been wonderful.

The possibility of conversing with God, no matter where you are, is amazing.

I once said to a catholic friend here that it doesn't matter where you are, you can always pray to God, even if you are in the bathroom.

At first she was quiet and I was afraid I had insulted her so much that she wouldn't talk to me anymore.

PSALM 23:6 “Surely goodness and loving kindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the LORD's house forever.”

Then she laughed a little, and said, that is such a protestant thing to say.

I think it is such a Christian thing to say.

But I know that there is more treasure to be found.

And I long to be even closer to God.

That is why this year I have been decided to try out Lectio Divina.

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

According to Wikipedia:

"In Christianity, Lectio Divina (Latin for divine reading) is a traditional Benedictine practice of scriptural reading, meditation and prayer intended to promote communion with God and to increase the knowledge of God's Word It does not treat Scripture as texts to be studied, but as the Living Word.
Traditionally Lectio Divina has 4 separate steps: read, meditate, pray and contemplate. First a passage of Scripture is read, then its meaning is reflected upon. This is followed by prayer and contemplation on the Word of God.
The focus of Lectio Divina is not a theological analysis of biblical passages but viewing them with Christ as the key to their meaning. For example, given Jesus' statement in John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you" an analytical approach would focus on the reason for the statement during the Last Supper, the biblical context, etc. But in Lectio Divina rather than "dissecting peace", the practitioner "enters peace" and shares in the peace of Christ^. In Christian teachings, this form of meditative prayer leads to an increased knowledge of Christ.
The roots of Scriptural reflection and interpretation go back to Origen in the 3rd century, after whom St. Ambrose taught them to St. Augustine. The monastic practice of Lectio Divina was first established in the 6th century by Saint Benedict and was then formalized as a 4 step process by the Carthusian monk, Guigo II, in the 12th century. In the 20th century, the constitution Dei Verbum of Pope Paul VI recommended Lectio Divina for the general public. Pope Benedict XVI emphasized the importance of Lectio Divina in the 21st century."

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.”
― Mother Teresa

In Lectio Divina you read first a Bible verse.

Then you meditate on the meaning of the words you read.

After that you pray on what you just read.

And at last you contemplate on the verse and it's meaning.

This is my hear yearning, to understand the meaning of the word of God, learn it and hide it in my heart.

Maybe one day I will understand even a little bit of God also.

“Give me the Love that leads the way
The Faith that nothing can dismay
The Hope no disappointments tire
The Passion that'll burn like fire
Let me not sink to be a clod
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God”
― Amy Carmichael

God's gentelness and our pain

When I was a teenager I prayed God.

I asked Him to make me a reflection of Him.

To take away everything unnecessary.

 

We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. C. S. Lewis

To take away my pride and to help me to always obey Him.

To make sure that His will would always happen.

It was the most dangerous prayer I could have ever prayed.

Pain insists upon being attended to.

God whispers to us in our pleasures,

speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains.

It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

C. S. Lewis

After that prayer I had a series of heartbreaks, disappointments, frustrations, and failures.

I felt shame.

And I felt pain.

Like never before.

It hurt so much that I actually turned away from God.

I could not accept His view for my life, and His purposes.

I could not accept that He knew better.

Or if I accepted that He knew better, I couldn’t accept that He really had thought it through.

And stubbornly I treaded on.

Until it was impossible and my life fell into pieces.

God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing. C. S. Lewis

Even then I could not accept that it was because of me.

But I blamed God, I blamed everyone else and I hurt.

I was in pain and there was nothing else in my life.

It took years to overcome.

I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me. C. S. Lewis

  

Today I pray:

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Habakkuk 3:17-18

(NIV)

God, take away everything unnecessary.

Burn all that does not matter and does not make me reflect your love and image to other people.

Make me humble and loving towards other people.

Make your love shine through me, so it is You.

Always You, and not me.

Help me to obey your will and not listen to my own pleasure.

And do it gently.

Please, God, always be gentle with me.

Because I have learned that I am not strong.

I have shattered and I need You.

Amen